Tuesday, August 25, 2009


can you picture it?
picture us
writing on the pages
blank pages
of this Great Book
of life
our life
life completed.
breathing life into each other
half circles
finally joined as one.
can you picture it?
picture us
blissful rhapsody
epitomized in natural form
your beauty astounds me
encircles and
wraps me in its cocoon.
can you picture it?
your missing rib has been returned
mine, has found its home.

Monday, August 24, 2009

in truth

i'm sad.
left without words.
i want you
and you are meant to be with me
another came and stole my place.

an open book revisted

droplets of kisses
one upon the other like t.h.i.s.
just the ways i like
these quiet moments
eternity stepped into time
suspensions of soft whispers
into my home, home, my dome
this house
can be your home
for time immemorial
beyond structures of carnality
into other world levels of knowing
these bodies have become one
kissing you
breath escapes me
and enters you

as we touch
you hold my innermost fears

as we lay here
i am lost in your embrace
never wanting the feeling
the experience...
to end.

for loving you is easy
loving me can be speechless.


you and me could never be
for you are with she
and i am left without thee
without a love to call my own
left alone
it is dark
in this abyss.
i could make you scream my name
time and time and time
make you become a better person and
explore hidden possibilities
positions unending
love immeasurable
you repeatedly choose another
neglect all that i am all that i can do and all that we can be.
you consciously choose to ignore the love that we can share
the passion that can be ours?
i am perplexed.
dumbfounded and lost.
the last time we share the space, this space alone
you touched me in ways i never thought possible
and i made you moan in ways that you never did
in ways that she never could.
beyond the physicality of it all
i truly believed
truly felt sure
that you were meant to be with me
meant to hold me and trust me
as i hold you in my dreams
is it fear that keeps you away?
are you too engrossed in the various games these lesser ones present to you
for you to notice me?
are you too enthralled in the physical motions to take note of what happens in the between
of us two?



what else can i say?how else can i be?what else can i do?for you to see me to be with me take note of me...

when will we be?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009



these words are inadequate
thoughts are meaningless
for they fail to grasp the
entirety of my emotions for

all i seem to do is contemplate on the
could have beens
supposed connection which lies between us two
which seems to only exist in my mind
what am i to make of the engaged-in conversations
when we share the space alone?
how am i to explain away
the way you can see and know me
without an exchange of words?
what am i to make of your touch
the way you caressed more than my face
as we explored that forbidden kiss?

you are
my dot dot dot
you are
my question mark
are not mine.

with each passing day i
make attempts at forgetting you
to erase images from my subconscious mind
and conscious being
your images
yet all that i am capable of is creating new ones
fabricating various play by plays of places that we travel to
and names we call our children
destines that await us...

now with eyes wide open
i am reminded that
are not mine
chose not me
love another each night
a we could never be
and i am forever lost in the
unknown space
between the
dot dot dot.


i love you.

Afraid to say it before hand
But now as days pass
And turn into weeks
Into months
No longer can I deny the
Emotions that well up
Inside of me.

Each time I see you,
Hear your name, and touch you...
Emotions there since
Catching your eye that
Fateful day
Phrases like
"love at first sight"
Cannot comprehend the
That I have to give you

I will be your all.
I will be the all that you have
Yet to envision.
I want to hold you.
Encourage you.
Believe in us.
As I
Dream of the day that
Our spirits can kiss again...

I live in incessant dreams
Which overpower me...
I live in fantasies each night
Imagining you
Laying next to me
Awaking to the realities of
Loneliness again and again
And again

As I see the body laying next to mine
That is not yours
Emptiness surrounds me
And I am left to find
Solace in the
Of you.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

the ugly truth

is it fear that keeps prevents halts you from loving me?

he was supposed to be my dream, my every dream answered

he was meant to answer the calls of my heart and

put aside my every hidden fear, live in my embrace, and caress me in his.

yet, as of late all that surrounds me is


so desperately I yearned for his touch, kiss, and love

so long I waited


too many nights spent creating tear-stained sheets consumed with bitterness



and in this now i fear that my love for him has diminished…

if this is true then what did I really have?

does love, can love

fade as quickly as the sounds those three words make as they escape one’s lips?

i once believed true, unquestioning love was only strengthened by distance

and reaffirmed by words unspoken

yet as these minutes metamorph into days all I ache for is to be loved

loved equally. loved passionately. loved physically.

his kisses no longer ellicit feelings of clouds and sunshine

i no longer smile on the inside when I hear his name

no longer catch my breath in that space between that space

i fear what this could mean

i fear


his fear is present


has left me falling



examine your truth: what are you afraid of?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Past Tense Present

so quickly i fell
into depths unknown
yet unafraid
of what lay
waiting behind your smile
waiting in your caress
subconsciously aware of your
open arms
for my touch
for my arrival
for a love in its purest form
me loving you loving me
this love was there before
you knew my name
i knew your scent
was there
we first embraced.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Free Love

Since the days of prehistoric times when means of communication was relegated to drawings on cavernous walls, love was expressed through dowries being exchanged, and marriages were the joining of two families rather than solely two souls they have said nothing in this world is free. They said. They said one couldn’t receive without first giving. They said one of life’s biggest joys was when two individuals cleaved to each other and created bliss. Yet, as of late, this age-old theorem has been threatened. As revolutionaries did with the Iron Curtain, new-age thinkers have dismantled the seemingly indestructible and indomitable walls of what love is supposed to look, taste, feel, sound, and be like.

It is as if the word ‘monogamy’ has been eradicated from our consciousness. Now, words such as polyamorous abound and people wholly dedicate themselves to multiple partners. Polyamory is the philosophical and emotional state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at a time. In layman’s terms, it is the loving and giving totally of one’s self to various partners without restriction or reservation. This lifestyle is meant to be freeing, unquestioning, and satisfying. More specifically, it is meant to answer the innate, dare I say animalistic, desire of all humans to be unrestrained and unbridled with their sexual appetite.

I cannot help but conjecture what Sigmund Freud would say about this Movement. Would he declare that humans are finally obeying the clandestine desires of their Id, or would he proclaim that we have perhaps gone too far in our quest for sexual freedom?

Is it truly our innate desires finally being heard and answered or is it a stronger pull for instant gratification on a more primal level? Followers of this movement claim that being free is what we all yearn for and they are the brave ones who have answered that call. My question is simply this: is this Free Love Movement truly the answer to our primal needs or is it, more sadly, a reaction to our deepest fear: commitment.