Friday, October 30, 2009

Glass Slipper

i thought these feelings for him were
done with.
done away with.
swept under the rug.
never to be experienced again.
yet, over and again
panoramic images, thoughts
envisions of us
re-emerge in my mind.
envisions of what we could be and do have surfaced
now reside at the crescent of my consciousness
why does this never cease to fade and stay away...
is it because the one that now holds my hand
is slowly pulling away
is slowly removing himself from a pictured us...
why do i feel a stronger connection with each passing glance,
and intermittent touch?
each exchange of words connect us further than
ever previously imagined.
in pure honest form,
i look forward to encounters with him
i anticipate seeing him physically and
look forward to the metaphysical plane that we dance upon.
i await the moment for his lips to touch mine
and for that instant,
that moment,
watch all fears and questions and doubt
dissipate into
time suspended.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Sometimes, Sh*t's Real

"do you want to spend forever with me"
he implored
as our eyes met in the dark
and rekindled an affection that was soon to be extinct
soon to be blown out by turbulent winds and distrustful eyes of those around.

a lifetime.

"do you want to spend forever with me?"

a lifetime.

how do i answer?
how am i to answer
knowing that I believed his love to be true
and that our love emerged during
beginningless time
all he was filled with were lies
he filled my heart
lie upon lie upon false truths
made promises never intended to be kept
never even knew what love truly was, is, and can be.
and so now the I alone remains
and as i in solitary sit in this dark space only one question remains:
how am i to spend forever with you when you never intended to spend one year with me,
never intended to spend a pure moment with me,
with an us in the making?

Things. Fall. Apart.

pain and disappointment now reside where
i falsely believed
love and comfort once lived.
night after morning after night i
stared at a distant love
i questioned why?
why your side of the bed remained empty
and now all that stares back at me is an ugly truth
your. ugly. truth.
you have stifled me with your filth
your intangible, fleeting self.
a self that is shamed and afraid by the prospect of something as true as pure as my love
as pure and as true as what i longed to give you
longed to sing songs for lovers only for you.
now, nothing else remains
but hope and
a life's time still searching for its prototype
searching for truth manifested in physical form.