Sometimes, Sh*t's Real

"do you want to spend forever with me"

he implored

as our eyes met in the dark

and rekindled an affection that was soon to be extinct

soon to be blown out by turbulent winds and distrustful eyes of those around.

a lifetime.

"do you want to spend forever with me?"

a lifetime.

how do i answer?

how am i to answer

knowing that I believed his love to be true

and that our love emerged during

beginningless time

Yet

all he was filled with were lies

he filled my heart

lie upon lie upon false truths

made promises never intended to be kept

and

never even knew what love truly was, is, and can be.

and so now the I alone remains

and as i in solitary sit in this dark space only one question remains:

how am i to spend forever with you when you never intended to spend one year with me,

never intended to spend a pure moment with me,

with an us in the making?

Things. Fall. Apart.

confusion

pain and disappointment now reside where

i falsely believed

love and comfort once lived.

night after morning after night i

stared at a distant love

distant

i questioned why?

why your side of the bed remained empty

cold

and now all that stares back at me is an ugly truth

your. ugly. truth.

you have stifled me with your filth

your intangible, fleeting self.

a self that is shamed and afraid by the prospect of something as true as pure as my love

as pure and as true as what i longed to give you

longed to sing songs for lovers only for you.

now, nothing else remains

but hope and

a life's time still searching for its prototype

searching for truth manifested in physical form.