Heavy Faces - 17/30

my heart is heavy.

so many thoughts, feelings

compromised emotions, and forbidden fears have appeared

and

nestled itself at the forefront of my consciousness.

i have yet to make sense of it all.

i have yet to understand the

significance

grandeur

the heaviness of this

weight.

more than just weight and pain

upon, throughout, encompassing me,

i bleed.

i bleed.

i bleed publicly and no one cares to ask why.

no one cared,

and so i bled privately.

behind the public faces

behind the mask and walls, my strong face

behind myself,

i bleed.

pain courses through these veins

and now intercourse with my

strength.

their offspring is

fear.

fear is my companion, my best friend.

i fear all that was to give me support,

i fear the words of loved ones,

i fear, love.

i fear, myself.

and as much as i tell others and tell myself

i fear that i simply do not know the self which stares back at me.

who am i?

me?

i am a ball of confusion

burning bright

burning, secretly

burning, steadily

no one wants to see. this.

no one wants the truth,

my truth.

and so i remain behind by facade

i keep hidden

so that the others will see and find solace

in the lies i have fashioned into their

truth.