Truth's Angst - 16/30

i am afraid.

i fear.

i live in fear.

fear has become my roommate, my companion.

before i was terrified of naming it,

this consumption.

but what is the use of lying,

of hiding,

pretending that what is there isn't.

what is the use?

i fear that i will be like the women in my family

women who give so much of themselves to others,

who are successful, but

nonetheless

are women without love.

i fear that i will become like them

and

be left alone.

i don't want to be alone.

i don't want to endure life with walls surrounding

and no one willing nor capable to penetrate them.

i fear.

i fear that i am not good enough,

that i am insufficient,

that i lack,

that i will never be the one

that is chosen.

that is loved.