Friday, February 12, 2010

Truth's Angst - 16/30

i am afraid.

i fear.

i live in fear.

fear has become my roommate, my companion.
before i was terrified of naming it,
this consumption.
but what is the use of lying,
of hiding,
pretending that what is there isn't.
what is the use?
i fear that i will be like the women in my family
women who give so much of themselves to others,
who are successful, but
nonetheless
are women without love.
i fear that i will become like them
and
be left alone.

i don't want to be alone.

i don't want to endure life with walls surrounding
and no one willing nor capable to penetrate them.

i fear.

i fear that i am not good enough,
that i am insufficient,
that i lack,
that i will never be the one
that is chosen.
that is loved.

2 comments:

  1. "i don't want to endure life with walls surrounding
    and no one willing nor capable to penetrate them."

    Oh I can relate to this one. Too much. When was the fear born? Do you carry it with you into relationships or is it the result of relationships?

    Hopefully, you find solace in knowing that naming and claiming your fears are the first steps to being unafraid.

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  2. Beautiful poem my sister. <3

    ReplyDelete